Recently I’ve had a lot of time to reflect on my own habits and personality. I know personality tests are knocked a lot, and I agree, they should not be an excuse for anything- ever. You shouldn’t live your life based on what tests someone made tell you, but they can be used as tools to help you understand yourself and those around you. Enneagram has been a tool that has helped me be more understanding of my friends and family, and aided the relationship between my parents and I. Through this, I’ve been able to recognize when I mess up, and consider how others might be feeling when I charge ahead.
My number for Enneagram is an eight. This means I’m a challenger, leader, and a “go-getter.” I’ve learned I make decisions based more on doing and thinking rather than on feelings, and that this is hard for people to understand sometimes. I react based on gut feelings, and I trust my gut 100%. I also charge ahead once I get an idea or goal into my head, which is great because I’m a huge motivator for both myself and others. On the flip side, this also makes me a bulldozer… I give a lot of attention to my projects and ideas, and I naturally feel free to do whatever I need or want to. Even this week, it was pointed out to me that a combination of these qualities was hurtful to those around me. I’ll elaborate.
For about two months now, I’ve been planning a trip to Canada with a few friends over spring break. I knew the dates were April 10-13, but I didn’t realize this was Easter weekend. So my friends and I had already set the dates pretty much in stone, and I had to break the news to my parents that the trip was over Easter. I think my Dad was pretty hurt. For our family, Easter is a fairly big deal and missing it isn’t something that’s done. That would be like deciding to go hang out with my friends on Christmas instead of spending that time with my family. While I waited anxiously for my parents to decide if I could go or not, my Dad looked into the core fears and motivations of both his type (2) and mine (8). He brought up that I didn’t like being controlled, and that he was sentimental. And so while he wished I could be there for Easter, he didn’t want me to feel controlled, and decided I could make the choice. By plowing ahead and not taking time to plan more carefully, I hurt my dad’s feelings.
I’m learning to be more intentional in how I plan for the future and treat others. I’m not always aware of how my actions affect others, but I’m learning. This is why I think it’s important to make use of tools that come available to you. Using new resources and information to reflect on your lifestyle and self is a vital part of growth. And this isn’t just for teens like me, I think self reflection is crucial to all stages of life- no matter how old you are, you never have to stop learning.
Journey-al 